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Oct 09, 2014

Wednesday 7/30/14

Apparently it was like National Cheesecake Day or something, and after volleyball went with boyfriend and a friend to Cheesecake Factory for half off cheesecake!

Cheesecake so much more worth it when half off lol.

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Oct 09, 2014

Monday 7/28/14

Dinner with boyfriend. Tried out Sadaf Halal hidden on Rockville Pike. (Really bad picture) It was alright. Not bad, but I always wish there’s more meat cuz I could eat the meat in like 3 bites. Instead I take like 50 tiny tiny bites.

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Oct 09, 2014

Sunday 7/27/14

We passed out and slept over at my friends house again, and didn’t wake until noon. Then the eternal debate about where to eat ensued, but we decided on Tara Thai on route one. Oh to be back at College Park.

Yummy apps.

Then back for a little bit of King of Tokyo with expansion

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Oct 02, 2014

Reading other people’s words, and even more so reading words from people I know, I always feel that sense of envy. Everyone writes so eloquently on their blog. It sounds so mysterious, so sophisticated. Here I am ranting the way I speak: incoherently, rambling. I don’t even know correct grammar anymore. Why can’t I write with such beauty? I’m so embarassed, I can’t even reread anything I write. I wrote some yelp reviews yesterday and thinking back on it right now, I can’t believe I sound so ridiculous, so air-headed, so lame.

At the same time, writing is one of those things that I guess I don’t care enough about to improve (although I really should at least in the professional aspect because I’ll need it in the work world, at least for applying and in some aspect of my job). I’ve somewhat accepted that I don’t write very well; it’s not one of those things that I dwell on too much when I read other people’s writing. I just kind of admire how well other people write on their blogs and continue on my style of writing on mine. I guess, I do it to get it out, to rant so as to not bottle it up completely, and hopefully it helps or just to make record of it (even if I never look at it again). It’s my own diary, so if I sound super ditzy or ridiculous and nonsensical when I’m doing an angry rant, so be it. I just need it out there, and share my emotions. 

My wonder is, why can’t I  be so accepting of myself in all other aspects. I am so self-loathing and self-blaming for basically everything. “Oh everyone does this so well, does this better. Why am I so bad?” Or when I am bad at something, it makes me feel terrible, that I’m such a failure, but when other people are bad at something, everyone loves them and thinks it’s adorable. I know half of the problem is me. I could shake it off and make light of it. I mean, who can be good at everything right? There will always be someone better. But I know part of it is just how other people view people. I’m just not one of those people that everyone loves and fawns over. I don’t really need to be, but it’d be nice to feel that kind of acceptance and appreciation that I at least exist in the world. 

I know the first step is self-acceptance, and that’s always the hardest part. How do I get rid of all these negative thoughts and feelings and just accept me for me with all my imperfections. Why can’t I be good enough for me? That’s all that really matters. My friends will always be better than me, but I’m not a complete failure. They may be better than me, but I’m decent. There are people worse off. 

Self, we will keep working on this. I know it’s already been a long journey with very little progress and mostly setbacks, but let me just call ourselves out. We can do this. We can take the first step (even if we’ve done this many times) and identify our goal (in this moment of motivation and not self-loathing)

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Oct 02, 2014

Saturday 7/26/14

Up bright and early (6am) to head out to the beach!

hmm, these clouds look threatening.

Beach!!

Oh yes, them death clouds.

Boardwalk to try to get lunch. I was craving greek and got a gyro…what a bad idea…should have gotten it from a restaurant T.T it was soggy, and it just didn’t taste good.

and then it started pouring and luckily we packed up and ran to the car in time before it hit too hard.

We hid out at a nearby outlet.

BUT BUT, IT BECAME SUNNY AGAIN, AND AFTER LONG DEBATE, WE DECIDED TO GO BACK TO THE BEACH!!

We went back into the water and did some body boarding on some waves, which were rougher. XD Fun and scary at the same time (at least scary for me). But so worth it!!

Sunset on the way to dinner

First time at Cracker Barrel for dinner!

Noms. Steak, mashies, sweet potato, and apples per sister’s suggestion! Yums. Pretty decent deal and large portions!

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Sep 30, 2014

Friday 7/25/14

Crab feast for dinner! Yum. Been craving crabs for forever!

Boyfriend picked out the meat of a crab and got this much.

Off to friend’s to sleepover before beach trip!! She makes a pizookie!!

I do have to say, Breyers vanilla ice cream tastes weird. Something was off about it. It was super..fatty? or something. I felt like there was some layer of fat coating my mouth. The ice cream was not homogenous or something.

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Sep 29, 2014

Thursday 7/24/14

Took a walk.

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Sep 29, 2014

Tuesday 7/22/14

Oh that horrific morning when I found out that our water heater compressor thing had a leak and was spraying high pressured hot water all over the basement. Then calling my parents who were no help and only yelled at me to turn off the water and stuff. Thank you, I know I should but the problem is how. After much stress, and finally not being stupid and finally trying to google it and successfully figured it out, I turned off.

Turned the yellow lever.

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Sep 29, 2014

Sunday 7/20/14

Free ginger beer. 

Vball day 2.

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Sep 18, 2014

words

The words that cut you down and put you back in your place; the reason why I bottle things up (or at least try) and keep quiet.

"But that’s not healthy", says everyone else.

But the backlash is all too great for me to handle. The words cut into my core and stay there, haunting me. What else can I do? There’s no one left to trust who won’t say such words.

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Sep 01, 2014

I wonder what it’s like to not feel like a incompetent failure all the time. Oh and being invisible…and a loser…guess I’ll never know.

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Aug 26, 2014

You used to try harder. Sorry I don’t matter enough for you to care.

You’re supposed to be there for me when I feel ilke the rest of the world is out to get me, but I guess not. I’ll just sit here pathetically by myself. It’s no wonder I turn to stuffed animals who can’t talk back to me. At least I can pretend they will always care.

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Aug 14, 2014

Saturday 7/19/14

Passed a farmer’s market on the way to brunch with the sister!

Hot chocolate! It was really good. So rich.

Brunch with sister!!

Waffle and berries! Yum (although I’ve bad better waffles, and better whipped cream.)

Poached eggs on biscuit, salad, and potato (mash?). It was really goood. So filling/ so much food but really gooood. Salad was good, potato was yummy, and I loved poached egg, so no questions there.

So after wandering tj max a bit with the sister, we parted ways at the subway. She was going to head off to Philly, and I was going to head back to the NY mini over at Chinatown. I was standing at this train, and I had it all planned out; this line was going to take me 5 stops right to a stop in front of Seward Park. However, about 2 stops in the screen on the train went blank, and they made some announcement I couldn’t hear. The train was apparently rerouted to like the AC line, which I discovered later as we went 2 stops past Canal Street, which I knew we weren’t supposed to pass. I was very lost, and couldn’t really get data underground, and ended up just taking a train back to Canal and walking from there. The Canal street stop I got off at, of course, had to be the farthest metro stop from Seward Park. I had to walk a mile to get there.

Never had I been so happy to see this. FAMILIAR TERRITORY.

And time for 9-man vball.

Intense.

A little bit of girl’s vball.

They have cool cheers XD

Go boyfriend go! (He’s setting. :D)

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Aug 10, 2014

Friday 7/18/14

Off to NYC we go! Boyfriend had his annual NY Mini 9-man volleyball tournament that weekend, and we went up a day early cuz his dad wanted to hang around Flushing a bit.

Here begins the food hopping journey! We tried to hit places on this list.

After this gigantic bowl of beef noodle soup (for like $6 I think, pretty cheap, handpulled noodles too! All NYC chinese food are legit handpulled noodles <3 THAT’S HOW YOU DO IT LEGITLY.) we realized that our eyes are too big for our stomachs. We were getting pretty full :[ We hadn’t even hit half the things on the list unfortunately. A lot of things are very bready too, so we definitely would not be able to eat them.

Look at this crepe!

It covered delicious dumplings! They pan fried the dumplings and poured crepe batter along the pan to connect the dumplings and then just flipped everything upside down onto the plate.

Pork belly buns! (I am a bad asian, and don’t know the names, both chinese and english, for the duck and pork belly buns :[  Feel free to help educate me )

MY FAVORITE THING EVER. BOTH THE LAMB AND THE SQUID SKEWERS WERE AMAZING <3<3 i want more T.T

Soy milk to go along with our xiao long bao!

Hotel.

Dinner in our usual place in Little Italy. Our once a year trip to this restaurant, and for some reason I can never remember the name of the restaurant haha.

They have the most amazing oilive oil dip for their bread! It is really herby, garlicy, and cheesey!

Risotto!

Lobster Ravioli.

Lamb shank. I feel like this is getting worse and worse. We should probably stop spending the insane amount of money it costs for this dish -.-;;

Off to Spot for dessert with the sister. 

The other desserts were alright, but the best is still the chocolate lava cake with green tea ice cream!! <3<3 so good. My favorite.

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Aug 10, 2014

Wednesday 7/16/14

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Riverside Hotpot with boyfriend.

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We had a groupon for the place.

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Service was still a bit spotty even though there were definitely not that many people when we went. They kept jipping us of things that we ordered on our list for our all you can eat hotpot. They kept leaving things off that we ordered, which sucked. I also feel like the seafood didn’t seem all that fresh. 

All in all I’m not sure I really like this place all that much anymore. I feel like it was better the first time around, but I guess like all you can eat korean bbq, it’s better to go with more people. But I still like the individualized hotpots. I think I got the mushroom broth base this time. It was a lot more subtle, and maybe I was just more in the mood of something stronger; some bolder (maybe spicier too) flavors. Boyfriend got the curry base, but I’m not really sure I would want curry base either. I tried the spicy ma-la last time and it was definitely very very spicy. Definitely better for cold months, but maybe I’m just in the mood for spicy now.

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